What a day!

Yesterday started out on a heavy note just for being the day after the anniversary of Eric's death. From there, the day just went downhill. First of all, I forgot about a homework assignment that was due that morning. I had stuffed it behind another homework assignment that's due later in the month and I forgot all about it. So when I got to school and a classmate reminded me I tried to quickly complete the assignment but I did not get a chance to finish (or even really get halfway through) before the teacher gathered up the papers and she said that if I didn't hand it in right then, I wouldn't get any credit for it. This irritated me because it wasn't even a hard assignment. If I had had 10 more minutes, I would've had it done. So I was angry with myself that I had forgotten such an easy assignment (especially since I spent so much time during the weekend working on another assignment that's not due until next week).

That was just the beginning. Chris called me a little while later to inform me that the power had been shut off for non-payment. This wasn't surprising since we have been behind on all our bills this month. Chris has been out of work for a week and the check we get from All Children's to reimburse us for Kyle's health insurance each month was very late this month, so things have been pretty tight. We borrowed some money and were able to make the payment needed to turn the power back on but since it took a while, my mom took Hannah and Kyle to her place after Kyle's physical and speech therapy. My dad had been in the hospital during the morning for a procedure that ended in the removal of a small tumor.

Next, I had to call Kyle's pediatrician to get approval for switching him from Neosure formula to Pediasure as the nutritionist had recommended last week. However, they couldn't approve the change without Kyle coming in to see the pediatrician and I needed the approval before Wednesday's WIC appointment so I had to do some schedule juggling.

The real fun happened on the drive home, though. Before leaving school, I finally put a couple quarts of oil in the Civic (something I should have done long ago - the light's been on for a while), but apparently I was too late. There was a horrible rattling noise and just as I was getting on the Courtney Campbell Causeway, the engine died out. I managed to get it to start up again but it barely allowed me to pull to the curb before dying out again. One of the Florida Highway Road Rangers was kind enough to stop and help me try to figure out what was wrong with the car. He said it looked like it was just needing more oil so I called Chris to have him come with oil for the car. The Road Ranger had to be on his way so I waited for Chris to arrive.

When Chris got there, he put a couple more quarts of oil in the car but when we attempted to drive off, the car died out again - but this time, the engine had siezed up. We pushed the Civic(with the Kia) into the boat dock parking lot along the Courtney Campbell and called my dad. As much as we hated to disturb him while he was recovering from the procedure earlier that morning, my parents have roadside assistance on their cell phones that work on other people's cars. My dad, being my dad, didn't hesitate to come to our rescue, despite his own rough day. So Chris and I waited for my dad to arrive so that he could call a tow truck out for us while we got devoured by mosquitos.

During all this, I spoke to my mom and found out that she had grabbed the wrong power cord for Kyle's feeding pump and the battery had run out so Kyle had not gotten any formula since the start of his feeding at 5:00pm. This was around 9:30pm. (Kyle normally gets his overnight feeding from 9:00pm-7:00am.) So on top of everything else, I was feeling like a neglectful mother.

Apparently I was to blame for the death of the Civic, as well (vehicular homicide?). The engine had seized as a result of going too long with too little oil (so... vehicular negligent homicide?).

Then, on the way to meet us, my dad's car started overheating (low on water) so he just barely made it to where we were. I headed out in the Kia to get water for my dad's car from the Ben T Davis beach access water spigot. But, alas, it was past sunset and the beach access was closed so on an almost empty tank, I tried to find a gas station to get water at. Note: Courtney Campbell does NOT have convenient gas stations nearby! I had to head back emptyhanded for lack of enough gas.

Dad and Chris told me to go ahead and drive home to get the power cord and they'd meet me back at Mom and Dad's after dropping the Civic off at my uncle's auto shop. Just as I arrived at home and grabbed the power cord, Chris called me to tell me that between the boat dock and the auto shop, my dad had stopped at the gas station for water and his car has a tendency to autolock the doors at inopportune moments so his keys had been locked IN the car. This left Chris outside the auto shop in the rain and Dad at the gas station. So as soon as I got to my parent's house, I had to drop off the cord quickly (Mom had offered to keep the kids overnight since they were asleep anyway), borrow Mom's keys and run out again to rescue the guys. It seemed only fair since they had each rescued me that night. I picked up Chris at the shop and we dropped off the keys to my dad and managed to make it home after midnight without any more drama.

I kept low profile on my birthday, hoping to avoid a day of catastrophe like last year had been. It looks like it was just delayed a month and a half.

One year later...

All month, I've been flooded with flashbacks... what was I doing last year at this time?...

If I had known I would be reliving it, I would have spent less of my time on bed rest watching Fresh Prince of Belaire on Nick at Nite. It's very odd to think that I get emotional from the Fresh Prince.

I flash back to goodnight kisses from Hannah, one for me, one for her brothers (on my belly) -rolling my eyes at yet another amnio-reduction like it was no big thing - laughing with my sister over magazine horoscopes - eating delicious food made by the ladies from church, my sister, my mom's Bible study group - waking up in the middle of the night so my sister could hand me medications and milk - shopping at Motherhood clothing with gift cards from friends, barely able to try on one pair of pants before feeling winded...

So many memories that built up to the hardest memory of all - saying goodbye to my newborn baby. It was one year ago today. Last year at this time, a kind nurse was holding me, praying and crying with me as I dealt with the news that my boy most likely wouldn't live through another day, trying to give me hope that a miracle could still happen.

This day is going to be hard for me, I know. Tears are falling already and it's only 45 minutes into the day. Just wait until the time comes around 8:00pm at the moment that last year I said my last words to my baby boy: "Hope you like cribbage, 'cause your great-grandfather is going to be wanting a game with you as soon as you get through the gates".

Eric was the thirteenth great-grandchild for both my grandmothers. I was originally given a due date of Friday, October 13th, 2006. Those who are superstitious say that the number 13 is unlucky. Well, for me, 13 will always be a very special number because of my little boy - My "Lucky 13".

Birthday Boy!

Can you believe it? Kyle is a year old today!

He's been doing really well since the fundoplication surgery. He's been home except for therapy sessions and check-ups. In "speech" therapy (feeding therapy), he's been progressing slowly but surely and he now takes small amounts of baby food. He makes horrible faces and gets most of it up his nose it seems but he gets some of it down. In physical therapy, we're trying to get him to where he can crawl or at least sit up for a while. It's a big difference from Hannah's first year. She was already walking by 9 months old. But considering all he's been through, it's amazing how well he's progressing.


I know a lot of people may be expecting a birthday party for Kyle but considering he's not quite up to eating, the cake seems a little pointless and he is not a big fan of the outdoors so the park is out of the question. Besides, with Chris out of work all week, finances are a little scant, I'm loaded up with projects and homework for school, and of course the arrival of Kyle's birthday means we're coming up on the anniversary of Eric's death. Next year we'll just have to do a real blow-out for his 2nd birthday party.

Stones

Chris is battling yet another kidney stone. It hit him hard late last week and he's been out of work all week because of it. He thinks it's almost ready to pass now. He's pretty much a veteran at passing kidney stones... now if we could just prevent them from coming in the first place...

New Pictures