All month, I've been flooded with flashbacks... what was I doing last year at this time?...
If I had known I would be reliving it, I would have spent less of my time on bed rest watching Fresh Prince of Belaire on Nick at Nite. It's very odd to think that I get emotional from the Fresh Prince.
I flash back to goodnight kisses from Hannah, one for me, one for her brothers (on my belly) -rolling my eyes at yet another amnio-reduction like it was no big thing - laughing with my sister over magazine horoscopes - eating delicious food made by the ladies from church, my sister, my mom's Bible study group - waking up in the middle of the night so my sister could hand me medications and milk - shopping at Motherhood clothing with gift cards from friends, barely able to try on one pair of pants before feeling winded...
So many memories that built up to the hardest memory of all - saying goodbye to my newborn baby. It was one year ago today. Last year at this time, a kind nurse was holding me, praying and crying with me as I dealt with the news that my boy most likely wouldn't live through another day, trying to give me hope that a miracle could still happen.
This day is going to be hard for me, I know. Tears are falling already and it's only 45 minutes into the day. Just wait until the time comes around 8:00pm at the moment that last year I said my last words to my baby boy: "Hope you like cribbage, 'cause your great-grandfather is going to be wanting a game with you as soon as you get through the gates".
Eric was the thirteenth great-grandchild for both my grandmothers. I was originally given a due date of Friday, October 13th, 2006. Those who are superstitious say that the number 13 is unlucky. Well, for me, 13 will always be a very special number because of my little boy - My "Lucky 13".
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Birthday Boy!
Can you believe it? Kyle is a year old today!
He's been doing really well since the fundoplication surgery. He's been home except for therapy sessions and check-ups. In "speech" therapy (feeding therapy), he's been progressing slowly but surely and he now takes small amounts of baby food. He makes horrible faces and gets most of it up his nose it seems but he gets some of it down. In physical therapy, we're trying to get him to where he can crawl or at least sit up for a while. It's a big difference from Hannah's first year. She was already walking by 9 months old. But considering all he's been through, it's amazing how well he's progressing.
I know a lot of people may be expecting a birthday party for Kyle but considering he's not quite up to eating, the cake seems a little pointless and he is not a big fan of the outdoors so the park is out of the question. Besides, with Chris out of work all week, finances are a little scant, I'm loaded up with projects and homework for school, and of course the arrival of Kyle's birthday means we're coming up on the anniversary of Eric's death. Next year we'll just have to do a real blow-out for his 2nd birthday party.
He's been doing really well since the fundoplication surgery. He's been home except for therapy sessions and check-ups. In "speech" therapy (feeding therapy), he's been progressing slowly but surely and he now takes small amounts of baby food. He makes horrible faces and gets most of it up his nose it seems but he gets some of it down. In physical therapy, we're trying to get him to where he can crawl or at least sit up for a while. It's a big difference from Hannah's first year. She was already walking by 9 months old. But considering all he's been through, it's amazing how well he's progressing.
I know a lot of people may be expecting a birthday party for Kyle but considering he's not quite up to eating, the cake seems a little pointless and he is not a big fan of the outdoors so the park is out of the question. Besides, with Chris out of work all week, finances are a little scant, I'm loaded up with projects and homework for school, and of course the arrival of Kyle's birthday means we're coming up on the anniversary of Eric's death. Next year we'll just have to do a real blow-out for his 2nd birthday party.
Stones
Chris is battling yet another kidney stone. It hit him hard late last week and he's been out of work all week because of it. He thinks it's almost ready to pass now. He's pretty much a veteran at passing kidney stones... now if we could just prevent them from coming in the first place...
Monday, July 2, 2007
Monday, June 18, 2007
No More Projectile!
Kyle had the fundoplication surgery on Wednesday (6/13/07) afternoon. His surgery started at around 1:30 and lasted about two hours so he was just getting to recovery when I got there from school. Perfect timing!
When they brought him up to his room (3NW), he was still a little groggy from the anesthesia and definitely a little grumpy but a little Tylenol did the trick to make him more comfortable. One of his NICU "girlfriends" (a nurse named Kelly) came to see him while we were there and mentioned that she had recently found out that her own mother had had fundoplication as a baby and has not had any serious problems caused by it. It was good to hear of someone with long-term experience of the procedure since most of what I found was about children under 5 years old.
Thursday night, after work, Chris went to seek Kyle and he said that Kyle was a little more cheerful, smiling now and then with only a bit of residual grumpiness. Friday afternoon, I went to see him and he was back to his smiley self. He had a couple of fussy moments when he would move certain ways but overall, he was smiling up a storm! Saturday afternoon, I went to see him again (bringing along a new friend I had met earlier that day) and the nurses were saying how he was almost up to where he needed to be for discharge. I didn't get my hopes up though because they normally don't discharge him on weekend days.
Yesterday morning (6/17/07), though, we got a call from All Children's saying that we could pick him up! What a wonderful Father's Day gift it was for Chris, too. We got our baby boy back home.
It's a little strange, now that Kyle can't throw up. We're used to jumping to action whenever he gives the little warning cough, ready with a towel or two to sop up the mess. Now, he can sleep through the night without us bothering him by changing his clothes and blankets. I guess we'll be going through a lot less laundry now that he can't throw up. He still hasn't quite figured out what's going on, it seems. He still gags like he's trying really hard to throw up and then looks downright annoyed that he can't.
When they brought him up to his room (3NW), he was still a little groggy from the anesthesia and definitely a little grumpy but a little Tylenol did the trick to make him more comfortable. One of his NICU "girlfriends" (a nurse named Kelly) came to see him while we were there and mentioned that she had recently found out that her own mother had had fundoplication as a baby and has not had any serious problems caused by it. It was good to hear of someone with long-term experience of the procedure since most of what I found was about children under 5 years old.
Thursday night, after work, Chris went to seek Kyle and he said that Kyle was a little more cheerful, smiling now and then with only a bit of residual grumpiness. Friday afternoon, I went to see him and he was back to his smiley self. He had a couple of fussy moments when he would move certain ways but overall, he was smiling up a storm! Saturday afternoon, I went to see him again (bringing along a new friend I had met earlier that day) and the nurses were saying how he was almost up to where he needed to be for discharge. I didn't get my hopes up though because they normally don't discharge him on weekend days.
Yesterday morning (6/17/07), though, we got a call from All Children's saying that we could pick him up! What a wonderful Father's Day gift it was for Chris, too. We got our baby boy back home.
It's a little strange, now that Kyle can't throw up. We're used to jumping to action whenever he gives the little warning cough, ready with a towel or two to sop up the mess. Now, he can sleep through the night without us bothering him by changing his clothes and blankets. I guess we'll be going through a lot less laundry now that he can't throw up. He still hasn't quite figured out what's going on, it seems. He still gags like he's trying really hard to throw up and then looks downright annoyed that he can't.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Home... for a limited time
Friday afternoon, I called the hospital as I was leaving work at 3:30pm to see if Kyle could be picked up yet. They told me they were still waiting on some final paperwork and weren't sure if it would be done before 6pm, so I headed home. Sure enough, five minutes after I walked in the door, I got a call saying that Kyle was ready for pick-up so I had to turn right back around.
It was a close call at one point. I thought they weren't going to let me have him after all because one of his prescriptions had expired since he was admitted and the All Children's pharmacy was closed. I had to call around to the pharmacies and make sure they could fill his prescription (which is a special compound) before I could bring him home.
We have him home now and he's babbling and laughing while I'm typing this. We still have to bring him back Wednesday for the fundoplication, but we have him for now. Chris is going to take off Wednesday for the surgery and bring him. I will have to meet them afterward, after class.
It was a close call at one point. I thought they weren't going to let me have him after all because one of his prescriptions had expired since he was admitted and the All Children's pharmacy was closed. I had to call around to the pharmacies and make sure they could fill his prescription (which is a special compound) before I could bring him home.
We have him home now and he's babbling and laughing while I'm typing this. We still have to bring him back Wednesday for the fundoplication, but we have him for now. Chris is going to take off Wednesday for the surgery and bring him. I will have to meet them afterward, after class.
Almost home...
Wednesday afternoon, the nurses told us that it looked like Kyle was scheduled for discharge the next day (Thursday), so I took off from work Thursday so that I could go straight from class to get Kyle. When I got to the hospital, though, they told me that they did not have the discharge order yet. They were waiting on authorization from pulmonology and cardiology for him to go home. They also told me that there had been some discussion over whether or not he would go home, since he's scheduled for the fundoplication surgery next Wednesday. After I was there about an hour, they got the word from pulmonology that Kyle was free to go but they were still waiting on cardiology. After another hour, they told me that they weren't sure that cardiology would be by that day. It might be Friday. I finally left at around 4:00pm since they told me that it was doubtful he'd be discharged that day and I didn't want to fight rush-hour traffic.
I went swing dancing Thursday night as a celebration of my birthday. All major catastrophes were avoided on my birthday this year, as opposed to last year's adventures with our car being stolen and me going into premature labor.
I went swing dancing Thursday night as a celebration of my birthday. All major catastrophes were avoided on my birthday this year, as opposed to last year's adventures with our car being stolen and me going into premature labor.
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